looking forward

2013 was a big year for our family. lots of new changes, new trials, and lots of blessings. micah became the ward executive secratery
(which has been a blessing and a trial
), i was released from 3 callings and have just 1! micah did great at work, and i slowly went from full time employee to a mom who tries to work when she can. my grandpa passed away after being miserable for quite a few years. it was bittersweet. we had a house guest which was a huge trial for me. being pregnant and having a family member living in my home probably wasnt the best idea. i got to go to girls camp again and it was a blast as usual. we got to spend our last time alone together for probably many years. i learned a lot this year about myself and what i can do better.

looking forward to 2014 i hope to have an even better year. i know it will be rough but the hard times always bring wonderful blessings. my goal is to be happy with myself. one thing i have always struggled with was my self worth. it may be because i was a fat little kid with a big personality. or had the wrong kind of friends. but i find myself always thinking i wish i was that skinny...i wish i sang that well...i wish i was that athletic...i wish i wad better at this or that. making myself feel im not good enough. when in fact im awesome. just kiddingi actually dont think that. but i should. i know i have talents but more often than not im too insecure to share them. i get intimidated by others so easily. after having my baby...this sounds so silly but i feel like every skinny person must think im a cow and that everyone notices how huge i am. in reality i justvhad a baby...and it takes time. i know this but it is something i stupidly struggle with. my goal this year is to be happy with myself no matter what. i can make mistakes, i can lose weight, i can share my talents with others. i wont care if someone does say rude things about me. i wont be intimidated because i am a child of god just like everyone else. as long as i know im doing what im supposed to i should feel great! 

my other goal is to make sure to blog/journal more often. i know i always say this but.i know i need to. i want to remember the little things that i wouldnt remember if.i didnt write.them down. i was told my journal will help my children amd grandchildren througn their struggles.i thought...geeze if i dont write anything that wont be much help.will it.! so this year is for change and becoming a better me not looking back but looking forward  to bigger and brighter things. because im awesome!