Identity Crisis

There are a few people I've met in my life, that I've thought, wow!! They know exactly who they are and where they are going in life. I want to be like them some day. Now it's someday, and I'm no where near what they are. Which should be acceptable to me, because when I knew these people they were much older than I am now. I don't know if it's because of our move, but I think I've lost it. In the past two weeks my hair has had 3 different cuts, and now 3 different colors. I have lost weight, gained weight, been sleep deprived, had a few anxiety attacks, and had a few good cries.  I've definitely had a few times where I ate my feelings, and may or may not have bought carson a million birthday presents...whoops. retail therapy.

Usually when I blog I have already figured out what I need to do to get back on track. Not this time. This time it's to tell friends and family I may have officially lost it. Just kidding. I haven't, I just feel like I'm not sure who Keisha is anymore. Yes I know becoming a parent changes everything, but should it make me feel like I'm not progressing? And I'm alone? And i can't share my talents because no one knows I have them? ya I don't think it's that.

I have been racking my brain to figure out why I feel this way. Since we moved I've made friends, received a calling at church, kept myself busy, worked out like crazy, and explored. But I still feel like something is missing and that I'm not growing. I feel like the Keisha growing and progressing, has come to a halt. It's not the best feeling. I'm not sure how to explain it I just don't feel myself lately.

So this next week I am going to work on myself. I am going to make it a goal to do personal AND family scripture study daily. Personal AND family prayer daily.  Always have dinner ready when micah gets home (because it always makes me feel accomplished) do my morning work outs along with a walk, and one other work out before bed. And work to make myself feel like I'm doing all that I can to become better, because this feeling isn't the greatest and i would like to feel myself again.