Don't Give Up
No matter what you do in life please do not give up. There are so many times I have looked at my situation and thought "I CAN'T DO THIS!" there isn't a cure to PCOS and it causes a lot of issues with the body. SO, in other words it is like a goat head being stuck in your toe and it just doesn't go away. But here's the thing....THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION. There is always a remedy to make things better. For me Diet, exercise, and a good dose of hormones every day is key. It makes my crazy go dormant. It makes the anxiety and depression almost non existent, it helps me be my normal self. i think clearly, my mood is under control, and i have SO MUCH ENERGY! Every single person has a solution for their struggles. BUT it takes you. It takes your heart and determination to fight for yourself. it isn't always easy, and it isn't always fun, but you can do it! I'm lucky to have a husband who has shown me what persistence and determination can achieve. I have watched him move mountains and achieve the unachievable because he NEVER GAVE UP! Surround yourself with positive people who encourage and uplift. That is something that has helped me to keep my chin up and knowing that it will all be worth it in the end.
People Aren't Always Nice
Again, this is something that can relate to any situation. I struggle with infertility ( a symptom of PCOS) and whether people know it or not, sometimes they are flat out rude. A Lot of times people don't realize that what they have said is hurtful or a sensitive subject. BUT i have encountered people who were intentionally rude and insensitive. One thing i have learned is to try to let it roll off my back. It isn't always easy....Especially when your hormones are crazy and you really don't have a grip on the fact that maybe it wasn't meant to be rude.i have noticed that whether it has to do with the infertility or not, there are some people out there who just aren't nice people. Growing up my mom always said "KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS" so it is something i've tried to apply. if someone isn't nice i have tried so hard to try to be kind to them whether they are being mean on purpose or unknowingly. AND LET ME TELL YOU, i really do know a few people who are rude just because they can be. I might come off stupid because i smile and am nice, but it is really just my coping method for not knocking your teeth out. Kindness is key. When I'm sad or have hurt feelings, the one thing that has helped the most is to get out and serve others. I feel so much better when i'm trying to help others who need a smile more than I do.
People don't like to hear about your problems
It's true. It sucks, and it's true. I have been in groups of people talking about planning their families and when the question comes to me, i've taken two approaches. CAN you guess what approach didn't make everyone awkward and silent? that's right the approach to pretend my life is perfect and i don't have fertility issues. I understand, it's a deep topic. people get awkward and don't know what to say. honestly here's some advice, if you encounter someone who has these issues I KNOW IT'S HARD but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not get awkward. i don't know if i speak for everyone, but i'd like to be included in conversations and i want to feel like a normal person. don't avoid people if you know that they have struggles. Honestly, there is something therapeutic about talking to someone about your struggles. I truly believe that if we all stopped to listen, or reach out to someone we know is struggling the world would be a better place and your own burdens seem lighter. ALSO, BAM! you made a friend. so I guess what i'm saying is, we need hear problems, we need to care, and we should reach out. it truly is healing.
Life Goes On
Life goes on. We can choose to sit and constantly feel bad about our problems, or we can try to make life worth living. I have been on both sides. I have had times where i chose to sit and mope about my weight, infertility, facial hair ( yes it is a symptom and i joke about it a lot which means it is my least favorite symptom....even worse than the infertility) and chronic fatigue. Last year I started having really bad issues. I could barely get out of bed, i had no energy and instead of heading straight to the doctor i spent the WHOLE SUMMER feeling bad about it. When I finally put my big girl pants on and went to the doctor guess what? i found a solution. I found hope that things could get better, and they did. When I say that life goes on, i don't mean forget about it, I mean try to make the best of what you have going. Right now, I want to be a millionaire in a big fancy mansion driving a range rover full of kids. BUT HEY! that isn't my reality right now, and probably wont ever reach the millionaire status...but the time is passing and i can make the best of what i have. some days it is hard to feel like i should be farther along in life, but right now my life is pretty awesome and I SHOULD BE MAKING THE BEST OF IT.
I am probably not the best person to talk about patience. If you ask my parents they will joke that i was probably their most impatient child. I always wanted to be older, I always wanted to have everything NOW! for me, if i know i want something and am going to have it...why not get it now? that has been my mind set my whole life i think. BUT everything happens when it is supposed to. I am MORMON and I LOVE IT. and one thing we have learned is that God has a plan for all of us. there is perfect timing and everything is in his time and not ours. SOOOOO naturally i should just trust in that right? well, im human, and i still struggle. NOT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW. Having patience is so hard, but it is worth it. Sometimes there are lessons to be learned or changes in opinion before things can happen. One time i thought i wanted something really badly. I thought I would die with out it. Eventually i realized that it wasn't actually what i wanted, and if i would have gone that route my life would have been SO SO SO SO hard. TIMING is key and sometimes time is all we need to realize that there are better things if we wait. It is so hard, but let me tell you...it is so worth it.
Surround Yourself with Great People
The last thing i will tell you is to surround yourself with great people! I have been a lucky girl, and have had some pretty amazing people in and out of my life. The people we surround ourselves with can make or break us. I have figured out that there are some people who uplift us and make us feel good, and then there are people who don't. If someone makes you feel bad, you don't have to be their friend. You should still be nice, but you don't have to be BFFS. i have tried to teach my 4 year old this very thing. I have tried this out in my life lately and there is such a difference. Right now i have friends who always encourage, and help me see the best in myself. And i've realized that this is what i want out of life. I want to be around people who push me to be better in a positive way. People who compliment rather than tear down, and people who help you see your true potential.
The Past few years I feel like I've grown as a person so much. I have been pushed out of my comfort zone and challenged. Life isn't supposed to be any other way. How could we grow if we aren't being challenged? How could we know happiness if we didn't know pain? How could we get what we want if we didn't know what we didn't want? Lessons are hard but essential to get us through this crazy life. If you made it to the end of my rambling, and very grammatically errored novel I challenge you to reach out to someone today and be kind, be a listening ear, be a friend that someone needs, or do an act of service you know someone needs. It really will make the world a better place